Ukraine

10.06.19

A few kilometres after the start we are stopped by the militia and they want something, no idea what it is. Bagschisch - Money - ah i nix have.

Didn't work, it's an official thing, we have to pay road tax because we accidentally drove through a Ukrainian enclave which is occupied by the Moldavians as well as the Ukrainians - shit, the military is always so scary.....grrrrrrr

Ok, half an hour later we continue towards Odessa in hot temperatures. Once there, we drive through the city for a long time to find something, because there is no camping here in our sense of the word and it is too far out of the city for us to go wild camping and we want to take a warm shower again.

So we end up in the "Las Vegas" of the Ukraine, a holiday stronghold directly on the Black Sea. The holiday complex has what feels like 1001 rooms and they all look the same.

So we make do with the fact that it has a shower, a balcony where we get out our camping cooker and make dinner, and we sleep in a

Tiger-Lilly-Porn bed.

11.06.19

We set off early for Chorly, a peninsula off the border with Crimea.

Once again, guys in disguise stand at the side of the road and wave us out.

This time we are lucky again, the traffic wardens were only there to make sure we actually stop.

The reason is different.

Ukraine Tourism is doing a survey and the girls are obviously happy to interview two such good-looking motorbike riders. Unfortunately, they don't speak English, so Igor has to get on with it, because he does speak English and has to translate everything for the girls.

Since wild camping is not so desirable there, we take a log cabin again, but this time we win the lottery. V.I.P Paradis is the name of the "camping" and the name says it all.

We get a very warm welcome and are immediately stuffed with food. They all think that motorcyclists are poor, hungry vagabonds. The price includes 3 meals, which they insist on giving us.

The food is amazing, because mum cooks personally and takes care of the guests. It is always amazing how far you can get, even without understanding each other's words.

Eat - swim in the sea - screw the mopet - eat.

Yes, all the potholes and smaller off-road rides have loosened the steering head bearing on my Yami and if I don't do something about it, it will break, so it's better to always give the old lady a bit of care.

12.06.19

50 km to the Crimea and the pulse goes high. High security zone. We drive through the war-torn landscape until a roadblock stops us.

After some incomprehensible talk, we are told to wait.

The lieutenant comes, because he knows English again, and explains to us that we need a permit to enter Crimea from Ukraine. He is very friendly and if it were up to him we could go, but there are more controls coming and we won't get through.

So he sends us to the next bigger town, which is 140 km away, to get the permit. So, AC/DC on the ear and off we go.

When we finally find the office in the town whose name I have forgotten, I stand in line for half an hour and then try to explain my problem to a big, very voluminous official. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand anything and looks at me helplessly. He is on the phone and I keep hearing: Ana.......

Ana comes, talks to him briefly, he gets up and sits down next to me and she starts questioning me in accent-free English.

As I know that I am not allowed to enter Crimea officially from Ukraine, I try to charm her. It's no problem with this lady, as Ana is quite a hottie.

Her ice cream breaks, but the border to Crimea doesn't. After clarifying that it's impossible for me to enter from here, she starts chatting and wants to know everything about our trip. Because the room is air-conditioned and I also have time, we talk and she keeps looking at me with very big blue eyes.

Now that she is relaxed, I try to find out her sense of humour and say:

"When I'm in Russia, I'll visit Vladimir and tell him to fuck off Crimea."

Her smile freezes for a moment, ok they must have a different sense of humour than me ?!?

She loosens up again and we say goodbye and I thank her for her time and interest. Ana wishes me all the best and says: Goodbye.

So we have to head north and through the whole of Ukraine, because there are riots in the east and we don't want any more crisis areas and shooting.

On this day we only get as far as Melitopol, where we arrive very late and drive into the centre to find a hotel or hostel.

Shortly before we get there, I ask the universe for a companion and promptly there is a group of bikers at the town square who honk and wave at us.

We turn around and ride to them and as we dismount they all come up to us and everyone wants to be the first at the Brotherhood hug.

After a short chat and looking at the machines, one of them understands and asks where we are going to sleep. Yes, we are still looking for a hotel and since these bikers don't have much money either and only have small flats, they look for a cheap hotel with a motorbike garage.

Andrew speaks perfect English and interprets

13.06.19

When Andrew comes to pick us up, he still looks a bit sleepy, but so do we. Together we make our way to a breakfast café that reminds us a bit of American Dinner. What is eaten there as z`Morgä is 2 complete meals for us, i.e. lunch and dinner together.

Stuffed to the gills, we go to the market where there is apparently everything the heart desires. Recycling has different standards here. Made-to-measure chain sets, crankshafts, connecting rods, carburettors and other car/motorbike accessories, leather goods, mobile phones, household goods, simply everything.

The next stop, the post office. As it is always the case when I go travelling, I usually have too much with me at first and have to send a package home. We arrange to meet Andrew again for dinner and say goodbye for the afternoon.

In the evening we meet him in a Georgian restaurant where he orders the specialities and we get a richly filled table where everyone can try a bit of everything. Fantastic, I love this way of eating and preferably everything with my fingers.

After dinner we go for a walk and Andrew shows us Melitopol and its best side. Melitopol, the city of cherries. He explains to us that everything has been renovated within the last year and always depends on the current mayor, who either lines his own pockets or, as the current one does, keeps the town in good shape and takes care of its citizens.